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This period represents a full decade since the term “ghosting” hit the mainstream. At the time, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, finding a partner has only become more bewildering – an frequently unsuccessful exercise in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by social media lingo.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the words gen Z is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of Zoomers, romance's gold standard is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A social media test loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while oozing mystery and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to going for someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A date where two people form a link while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to pairs who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Flags

• Warning signs – Personal quirks indicating a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their exes unstable, subpar tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits validate your choice to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An ideal promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane repulsions that instantly shut down any feelings of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {